You're so Vain

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, maybe too many. I like to comment on almost all of them and I've only once left a negative comment, and that only after a great deal of thought and only with a lot of heartfelt explanation.

The other day I was reading a blog that was recounting an extremely inane conversation between two women. What bothered me was not the subject matter, but the description the writer used for one of the conversation's participants. She named the participant 'Hi I'm 40 But I'm Wearing $300 Dollar Jeans.' Very descriptive, evocative, maybe, of a certain type of woman, funny maybe, offensive maybe. I took offense. I didn't leave a comment. I brought it here.

I'm not 40. I'm past 40. Way past. I don't wear $300 jeans. I'm more the "$30 on sale at Old Navy" jeans kind of woman. What did the author of the blog in question mean to convey with her label of 'Hi I'm 40 But I'm Wearing $300 Dollar Jeans'. Did she mean to say that women of a certain age have no business wearing a certain kind of clothing, that they have no right to the kind of vanity that would put them in designer jeans? Does she think that the only thing women over 40 have to spend our money on is our grandchildren. Chances are, at the age of 40, $300 jeans woman doesn't yet have any grandchildren (No, I'm not a grandma yet either, my oldest is only 19 and the only child she'd better be thinking of is child psych 101).

At what age does 'mystery blogger who shall not be named' suggest that it's appropriate for a woman to give up her vanity? 28? 35? We already know that she thinks 40 is over the hill! I celebrate 'Hi I'm 40 But I'm Wearing $300 Dollar Jeans.' I hope '$300 jeans' still has a short skirt or two in her closet to go with the spike heels I know she must have been wearing under her denims.

I'm going to overshare here. I threw my 36DD's into their first push up bra at the ripe old age of 51. That's right, 51! and I haven't looked back since. I'd just lost 70 lbs. and nobody was more suprised than me that I was suddenly in possession of a very nicely shaped shape. So I went out and got some new bras, and heavens, some thong undies because I'd heard that pantylines had become completely unacceptable. Now I'm a woman possessed. I possess a new and improved sense of self. If I had $300 to waste, I might spend them on a pair of useless designer jeans, just because I could, though I suspect my heart might stop and the earth swallow me up as I pulled the money out of my designer fake $18 pocketbook, or I might not. Either way, I hold my head high and proud. Others may judge harshly, but that doesn't mean they have the right nor does that mean that their opinions should be given any weight. Mystery blogger sounds fairly young, but she'll find when she's 40 that, surprise, she may still possess vanity. She may find that at the age of 60 she'll still care about how she presents herself to the world and take the time to dress with care. She might want to eat her words.

Me, I'm zipping up my size 6 jeans, hooking on my good push-up, throwing on a tight low-cut shirt and meeting my husband for dinner. I've got my make-up on, and damn, I look hot. I'm vain, I admit it. But that's OK. Mystery blogger can judge me for it if she wants, if it makes her feel better about who and what she is. My vanity is just one small facet of who I am, one very small facet. To all other 40 something and over women out there, it's OK for you too. If you want. You're allowed, entitled even.

I'm reminded of the lyrics to a song by one of my daughter's favorite bands, Fall Out Boy,

"Sugar we're going down swingin'..."

That's how I want to go out, defiant and on my own terms. If it be in designer duds, so much the better, and if anyone feels the need to stand there in prissy judgement, that then is their problem, not mine.