who's the mommy around here anyway?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Lizzie, my soon to be 19 year old who went away to college last fall and liked it so much that she hasn't come home yet for more than a week-end, got herself a part-time job. She really liked that job, and was counting on it to help support herself through the school year, as she has decided to live off-campus, and gotten herself a room in a house where her friends live.

Yesterday, the unthinkable happened, and she was fired. She is just beside herself. Her self-esteem's been crushed and she thinks the world's coming to an end. She cried for hours to her dad and me, on the cell phone. Ordinarily, I'd be complaining about the cell phone minutes, but yes, this was a crisis of great proportions. This crisis was so enormous, that husband actually admitted to having been fired from a job or two himself, an admission of imperfection that one doesn't normally get from him. He was being fully supportive. How I love That Man!

Lizzie reads this and frequently leaves comments. She's a decent, caring, sweet soul and she's hurting. I hurt for her. If you are here and reading this, I invite you to share any story you may have of workplace trauma. We all have them. Liz gave me her permission to do this. I'm going to start her off with a story of my very first job as an RN. Liz, I hope you appreciate this level of sharing. See comments for my story.


  • I graduated nursing school at the age of 20, ready to enter the workforce and practice what I'd learned. Unfortunately, there was a glut on the nursing market, unlike today, and it was difficult to find a job. I'd graduated from a hospital school of nursing, and they scooped up the cream of the nursing crop, which, unfortunately, I wasn't one. They knew me too well to hire me. I sat on my ass at home all summer, waiting for someone to answer one of my many job applications. I followed up with phone calls, but nobody wanted me. I twiddled my thumbs alot and contemplated beauty school. One director of personnel stood out from the bunch because when I called her, she was just so snooty to me, telling me that her hospital just wasn't hiring anyone without experience. After about a month and a half of this, I finally got a phone call from a nursing home, where I'd done a clinical rotation in conjunction with my school training, and they hired me. Within days of that, the snooty personnel director called me back and offered me a job. It was a pleasure turning her down. I started my professional career in a warm, non-threating setting, just the kind of place I needed to boost my own low self-confidence. I loved it there, both the place and the people I cared for, and after a year I moved on to a more challenging job in a hospital setting. After that there was no stopping me. Liz, life holds great and wonderful things for you, keep looking for them. You're at college to learn, and dad and I are so proud that you made the Dean's List for the first two semesters. You've come such a long way and this is just a minor set-back. Love you, Mom

    By Blogger molly, at 10:34 AM  

  • Losing a job is always hard. I used to work in a daycare setting, long long aog, and I had a student who used to bite himself. I would often caution him not to bite, as he could really hurt himself. I had given him the "we don't bite" lecture one day, and I was called into the director's office later that same day. Apparently, the child had told another coworker that *I* had bitten him. when the director asked me what had happened, I told her that I had fussed at the child for biting, but she thought I was confessing to biting the child. I got fired, and didn't figure out until like two days later what had happened. By the time I got to talk to the Director, she had already hired someone new. I was devestated. I called her until she agreed to remove that from my file. I made her amend my records, saying I never did what I was accused of, and that she essentially fired me without cause.

    I know things seem bleak to your daughter right now, but I hope the next job she gets is twice as nice.

    By Blogger KLee, at 2:21 PM  

  • Thanks for visiting my blog.

    My younger son is going to be a senior this year at Michigan State University. He was fired from his first summer job, a fairly good one working for the city. Goofing off just a little too much.

    He's had worse things happen to him too, but I have to admire his attitude. He just picks himself up and keeps on going as if nothing ever happened. I wish I had his tough skin approach to life sometime.

    By Blogger Big Dave T, at 7:14 PM  

  • Thanks klee and dave. My daughter sent them an email, to-the-point, responding to their criticism of her. She's only worker there for a few days. I think she responded well and with dignity, and got herself a bit of closure.

    By Blogger molly, at 6:51 AM  

  • Tell Lizzie That as awful as it seems, its a great learning curve. It always feels awful when someone tells us we aret good enough or performing up to par. Whatever the case may be. Its one persons opinion. You go out there and get another job and your last employer will be the poorer for it.

    By Blogger oopseedaisee, at 10:08 AM  

  • Hi, it's Lizzie. Thanks for you input everyone.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:05 PM  

  • Tell Lizzie never to leave a job without asking to see her employment record. What good things are written therein, what documentation do they have for having let you go, what are you evaluations like ---- then ask for a copy of the file for your own personal interest. Perhaps some of the things will look good enough to help you get a new job and also, they may think you are going to sue them for something. My DH was the general manager for a large company and it was very difficult to fire anyone for any reason. When I took my state boards, I had an almost perfect score and the hospital that hired me put a copy of my scoresheet in my file. Years later, I had a patient come back to the hospital a couple of years after having been my patient. He met my daughter in her department and asked if I were still there---then, he sent nursing service a letter stating that I was the best nurse he ever had --- and they put it in my file. You'll find another job Lizzie---just keep smiling and enjoy school.

    By Blogger Kacey, at 12:27 PM  

  • When a door closes another opens. Hang in there better days are coming.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:09 PM  

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