who's the mommy around here anyway?

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Caveat Emptor!

I was just reading a blog where the blogger was contemplating giving her kids away, versus selling them on Ebay. Haven't we all had this fantasy from time to time? Now get real. You're just kidding yourself if you think you're going to get any money from selling your kids on Ebay. If you don't want them, what makes you think anybody else will? Everybody knows that parents only give away the troublemakers. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants a used problem child. They only want new, unused babies.

If we didn't have the smarts to sell them at birth, when they were all little and cute and had some value on the open market, then we're pretty much stuck with them, right? But this got me thinking. There's got to be something we can do with them? Something that'll get them out of our hair and our homes... something useful, profitable, that will create a meaningful experience for all involved? And then it hit me like a bolt of spit-up from a bottle-fed. A Rent-someone-else's-kid service!

That's right! It could be marketed to all those couples out there contemplating parenthood. Try it for a few weeks, and don't worry, it's not permanent, this one you can give back, unlike the one you give birth to! (Just ask your Rent-a-Kid's mom!) They could get a feel for the real thing, instead of just having to use their imaginations which probably stop at what it's like to hold that 8 pound precious bundle of joy. They'll get a fully grown teen, or pre-teen to contend with, and really come to know the joys of parenthood, because, let's face it, it's only a few short months between birth and the time the little bundle of joy takes his first tiny toddler steps and tells off mom and dad in his sweet little tiny toddler voice. After that it's years of torture and abuse, and gimme this and I want that!

It'd be like a reverse baby-sitting job. You'd get someone to take your kids off your hands, and they'd have to pay you for the privilege of doing so. Your own children will come home with a new appreciation for your parenting skills after spending time with mommy and daddy wannabees. For parents, there's just no down side.

However, once the word is out that parenthood is no walk in the park, and all these would be moms and dads give their Rent-a-Kids back, I'm not sure I'd hold out too much hope for the future of the human race.

5 Comments:

  • HAHAHA! Sounds like a pretty good marketing plan. ;)

    But I agree; "I'm not sure I'd hold out too much hope for the future of the human race."

    By Anonymous Heather, at 12:10 PM  

  • Aw mom, you don't give us enough credit. Sure, I bet there are the days you would love to give us away, but I also know after a while you'd miss us and your life would be empty, like a black whole. I don't know if that stands for all children and their parents, but I know as a fact, that if you did get rid of me or Laura, you wouldn't have anyone to laugh at and make fun of! Love you!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:29 AM  

  • how true!

    By Blogger molly, at 11:09 AM  

  • LOL! That is a brilliant idea! This country was founded on the spirit of entrepreneurialism (SP?!?) and ingenuity, you know. ;)
    I do think this might help the teen pregnancy problem, though.

    By Anonymous Jamie, at 12:35 PM  

  • Jamie, welcome. I didn't think about the teen pregnancy thing, but it would probably work better than carrying around a plastic baby doll, like some schools make the kids do!

    By Blogger molly, at 12:50 PM  

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