who's the mommy around here anyway?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Menopausal Momma

Did I mention that I'm in menopause? My gyne told me that you're into menopause when you have gone a full year without your period. I'm just a few months past that point and I don't mind telling you that not having your period isn't half bad!

I wrote my very own little menopause song, bear with me here as I clear my throat, ahem, ahem: (Mom, you might want to stop reading here and skip the song!)

The Menopause Song

(sung to the tune of No More Pencils, No More Books, No More Teachers, etc, etc...)

No more tampons, no more pads
No more unplanned baby scares

Oh more personal lube, oh more hairy skin
Oh more whiskers on my chinny, chin, chin

Now there's hot flashes, now there's night sweats
Now with my husband there's unprotected sex, sex, sex

I'm kind of stuck there. Really it's not so bad. Menopause I mean, not the song. I'm really liking the whole no period thing, 'cause I used to get mine at the worst possible times. Special plans - got my period. Going on vacation - got my period. Visiting my parents in Florida - always got my period, even if I'd just had it and wasn't due to get it for another three weeks. Never really understood that one

Seriously, menopause, is like the ultimate female wake-up call. It makes me aware that I'm at the irrevocable end of a certain phase of mommyhood. I am no longer fertile. Babies are in my past and not in my future. If I have another maternal yearning, I'll just have to be satisfied with getting a puppy. (I realize that there's adoption and foster parenting, but at this point I don't think I would consider them, for multiple reasons.)

Also with menopause comes a certain awareness. I'm aware, as never before, of the fragility of life, of the passing of it, that the way I've come is a way I will never go again. I no longer feel invulnerable or immortal. I've read about time's arrow. Time goes in one direction only and marches from the past straight on into the future. Time doesn't go in reverse and you can't get it back.

How to explain this next part? I'm ready for my own future. Not the one that involves my family, but the one that belongs solely to me, with children and husband as adjuncts. I know, what a wretched, selfish woman I am. Even as I write this I'm sitting next to Laura, helping her import songs onto her iPod, watching her play on her gameboy, and my heart overflows with love for her. Three more years and she'll be leaving for college and I'll regret that we didn't have more time together, to cuddle, to giggle, to share. I'll be ready to eat these words. Don't get me wrong, my children are the greatest sustained passion of my life. But just for right now, I have a yearning to fly, and solo. While I still can. Forgive me. It must be the hormones.

9 Comments:

  • I'm looking so forward to menopause just for the no more periods.

    I'm with you on Auntie Flo arriving at the wosrt possible time! It ususally happes to me (and copiously so) on the day that I'm wearing white pants and having to bend over a lot.

    Well, congrats on the "safe" sex and the no more periods, but a gentle heart tug at the death of the fertile years. I know it's kind of sad, but you have your wonderful kids, and just think -- no more diapers to change! Well, not for about 15 more years and the kids have kids! :)

    By Blogger KLee, at 2:28 PM  

  • It is kind of sad, and no, I'm not quite ready for grandparenthood. My daughters want to know what kind of grandma I'll be, and I've already told them that I'll pay for their babysitters, I'll be too busy skydiving.

    By Blogger molly, at 2:38 PM  

  • Love the poem!

    By Anonymous Anne Glamore, at 5:16 PM  

  • I'm so glad you commented on my blog today because it lead me back here to your post -- which is wonderful and ironically I could have written myself. I too have gone more than a year with no visit from Aunt Flo, but that happened before and I got pregnant anyway and now I have a two year old! I love your song by the way. I think you got a hit there among the 40 and over crowd.

    By Anonymous Antique Mommy, at 6:12 PM  

  • Love the poem! Cheers to unprotected sex and no more feminine products. You are so right, your period is always there when all the important events are taking place.

    I love what you said about life and the fragility of it. So, so true. I turned 35 this year and have begun to look at things very differently. I havent done this voluntarily though, I think you just do.

    By Anonymous Heather, at 6:56 PM  

  • LOL! Love the song!

    I went on medication for endometriosis that put me into menopause. Hot flashes and all. Wasn't fun! So I feel for you.

    By Blogger ablondeblogger, at 6:58 PM  

  • tThe paragraph about the fragility of life and the one way passing through caught my eye. You are so right --- enjoy the next twenty years, because they will fly by. Life is like a roll of toilet paper --- the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

    By Blogger Kacey, at 9:31 AM  

  • Thanks to all who liked the song.

    Antique Mommy - I guess I might be premature giving up the protection!(no pun intended, really)

    Heather - I think thoughtful would describe you on your worst days, and good-hearted as well


    ABlondeBlogger - You've been there, you know

    kacey - a friend and mentor once said, "Make hay while the sun shines, because it won't always." I always remember that and try to do right by her words.

    By Blogger molly, at 11:31 AM  

  • virtual cuddle! again and again and again!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:56 PM  

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