who's the mommy around here anyway?

Thursday, November 02, 2006


I was never a parent who wanted to be her child's best friend. I knew who I was. I told my kids who I was from the start. I was the mommy. I was the parent. Make no mistake about it, I was, and still am, the boss.

But then raising my girls, I found myself involved in something quite unexpected, a new openness, uncharted territory, something I never had with my mom. My girls and I could talk about anything. We do talk about anything. And that's where I went wrong. I should have quit while I was ahead.

Never become friends with your daughter until you're both much, much older, like menopause older, like my mom and me, because if you do, you might find that your daughter will try to confide in you those secrets best left to the whispered conversations you'd normally have with your best friend in places where you're sure no one else can hear you. Don't even try to tell me you don't know what I'm talking about! That's right, I'm talking about


Yes, those conversations. The conversations my mother never, ever had with me. She probably should have at least broached the subject at some point and if she had I promise I would never have reciprocated by telling her all my dark sexual secrets and favorite positions as my daughter seems hell-bent on telling me. Or asking me. How do you respond to your child, do you give her advice and refer her to the Kama Sutra? Or maybe the Joy of Sex? Our Bodies, Our Selves? Once again, I am not her best friend and there are some things that just shouldn't be shared. It's not natural. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!!


Anybody got a bottle of scotch?


  • Well, on one hand, it is nice that your daughters can speak openly with you. But it sounds like your daughter may be exploring some boundary issues at this point.


    I am menopausal. And I'm still not gonna have that conversation with my mom. We'd both end up in therapy... Scotch sounds like a pretty good plan!

    By Blogger Sheepish Annie, at 9:59 PM  

  • Oh, Golly, Miss Molly --- I remember telling my oldest daughter (she was 21, out of college, had her first teaching job, was getting her own apartment and was engaged--- " I know how hard it is to abstain from sex at your age and being in love, but you could lose your teaching position if you got pregnant, so if you feel that you can't wait for the wedding, come to me and I'll tell you what the best form of birth control is for you." (She couldn't just go on the pill, because she was a DES daughter and would risk vaginal cancer)
    I never would have talked about favored positions or any other intimate details of my marriage or her relationship with her fiancee, because I really feel that those details are too private to discuss with anyone other than your mate. (Especially, I couldn't have talked about her very own father!)

    By Blogger Kacey, at 11:11 AM  

  • I admire you miss Molly. just tell your daughter that as far as positions go that's her call.
    I too wish I had the openness with my children that you have with yours. Being brought up in my time was a lot different, you waited until you got married before you would even think of a sexual encounter. As I get more into my rusty years, matbe we were better off. Only time will tell.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:55 PM  

  • Oh my! I don't look forward to this. But you must be doing something right, to have a daughter who feels comfortable talking to you about these things. As for me, I'm close with my mom, and I *still* will not have this conversation with her!

    By Blogger Christine, at 11:16 AM  

  • Oy. I am SO not looking forward to this time in my daughter's life.

    Unfortunately, I have a mother who thinks it's cool now that we're both adults to tell me ALL about her sex life. That's when my eyes glaze over and I'm going "la la la....I can't heeeear youuuuu!" in my head.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:46 PM  

  • I don't talk about my sex life with my daughter or with my mother either. It's my daughter who wants to overshare with me. It's all so new to her. And I so don't want to know. My sweet baby, she needs guidance I don't want to give. My advice is limited to "Use protection, use birth control!"

    I'm at a loss here.

    By Blogger molly, at 7:30 AM  

  • Mom, I love you. I like that I can talk to you about anything. I probably take advantage of it more than I should, but you're just going to have to deal with it. I guess it's one of the consequences of the way you raised me. And for the record, I do tell you a lot, but it's not everyhting. I do spare you more than you know. But here's a question, who am I supposed to share these things with? Everyone i'm friends with is friends with my bf, I cant tell them these things b/c then it might get back to him and then i'd be finding myself in a whole new world of trouble. But anyway, I love you. And just remember...if you think things are bad now with all the things I tell you, just wait to the future. I'm going to have so many more new, and according to you icky, experiences you're going to want to cut off you're ears before i'm even done having them. What do you expect. I mean, i want to be a sex therapist, i cant help it. Sex is just interesting. But if you'd prefer, i will stick to only telling ethan things and leaving you out of the loop. If that's what you really want, just say the word. But coming back to reality for a second, even if you did say the word, i'd probably still tell you anway. Why? I'm not sure. Some would call it payback and others would call me an open book. But either way, your stuck with it. And like i said before, it's very important for you to remember that this is just the beginning. hehehe, evil laugh. love you. talk to you later!
    -You're loving daughter
    the troublemaker

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:56 AM  

  • By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:57 PM  

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